This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
