i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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