we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
