Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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