So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it hurts more in the daytime
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
