I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
