Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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