Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
40s are totally the cure
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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