Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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