Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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