When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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