A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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