Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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(732): Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone http://tfl.nu/vmc1

Replies (8) Good night (2134) Bad night (1485)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

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(617): Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out! http://tfl.nu/knp1

Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (882)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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(978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch

Replies (4) Good night (2871) Bad night (691)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating

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(203): listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating http://tfl.nu/olru

Replies (10) Good night (3791) Bad night (1073)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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(336): Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh. http://tfl.nu/7dtp

Replies (34) Good night (896) Bad night (3682)
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(917): View more from New York City

I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.

(917): View more from New York City

Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.

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(917): I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads. (917): Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful. http://tfl.nu/kyyh

Replies (23) Good night (7522) Bad night (822)
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(319): View more from Iowa

we need to stop having unprotected sex.

(1-319): View more from Iowa

ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

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(319): we need to stop having unprotected sex. (1-319): ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores. http://tfl.nu/85im

Replies (31) Good night (1286) Bad night (4297)
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(831): View more from California

After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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(831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d

Replies (4) Good night (2841) Bad night (702)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.

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(781): My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/4mpl

Replies (1) Good night (1253) Bad night (563)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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(303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe

Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (502)
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(519): View more from Ontario

The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"

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(519): The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING" http://tfl.nu/92g2

Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (311)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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(303): Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super. http://tfl.nu/a5le

Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (378)
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(914): View more from New York

I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.

(1914): View more from

You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.

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(914): I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her. (1914): You were drinking with me last night, I warned you. http://tfl.nu/yyj1

Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (318)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool

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(919): We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool http://tfl.nu/zthr

Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (294)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.

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(302): Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks. http://tfl.nu/7lmc

Replies (9) Good night (333) Bad night (822)

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