I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
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Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do