areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle