my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
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I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
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My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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