Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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