This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
