Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
