Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
