He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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