Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
