8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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