I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
