Buhtt sex?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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