I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
