I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
