wakey wakey hands off snakey
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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