I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
