I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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