farters have to be the big spoon...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
