he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
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thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They are going to name an STD after you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.