you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.