a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza