New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
