Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
