And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
