dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
