I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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