IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
