ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
