you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize