I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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