we have officially lost it.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
