If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize