My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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