real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please come you make the beer taste better
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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