need another drink. this is the easiest way
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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