no, he came in my armpit
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
