Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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