Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
