is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize