well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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