No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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