I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
