how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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