I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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