i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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