Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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