I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
honey bunches of taint.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
