just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
