I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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